When toxic bosses post about authentic leadership: How to stay sane (and maybe say something)

You’ve just seen a post on LinkedIn by someone who made your life hell at work.

But there they are, waxing poetic about empathy, values, and servant leadership.

You’re not imagining it: the disconnect is real, and it’s disorienting, especially in Brussels and even beyond.

So this is for anyone who's seen a post like that and thought:

“Am I losing it, or is this person completely rewriting history?”

Here’s how to respond, or not, in ways that protect your integrity, your sanity, and your voice.

1. Know you’re not alone

You’re not bitter. You’re not dramatic. You’re not the only one.

Toxic bosses often use public platforms to rebrand, especially in spaces like Brussels where power and networks rule, where image carries weight and reputation is currency. Just recognizing the mismatch is a sign you’re still grounded in reality.

2. Feel it, don’t swallow it

When these posts land, they often bring up:

• Anger (“How dare they.”)

• Doubt (“Was it me?”)

• Imposter syndrome (“They’re getting praised while I’m still recovering.”)

Let yourself feel those. Vent to a friend. Write a draft comment and don’t send it. But whatever you do, don’t gaslight yourself into silence.

3. Ask yourself: what’s the risk vs. reward of responding?

A direct call-out could backfire. But silence can feel suffocating.

You have options:

• Subtle Comment: Calm, pointed, and safe (see comment suggestions below).

• Quiet Share: Repost this article instead of amplifying their original post.

• Private Validation: Message a trusted colleague, “Did you see that? Just me?”

• Do Nothing: You don’t owe them your energy. Sometimes the win is walking away.

4. Use that post as a compass (for what you won’t do)

Leadership isn’t what you post. It’s what people remember when your name comes up.

If you're in a leadership role now, use the disconnect to check your own alignment between values and behaviour. Be the boss you needed, not the one you're healing from.

5. If you must speak, let it be about principles, not revenge

Publicly naming your values is always fair game, even if it’s indirectly inspired. Try something like:

“Real leadership is felt — not just said. It shows up in how safe people felt, how clearly expectations were set, and how teams were treated when things got hard.”

You don’t need to name names. Sometimes the most powerful thing you can say is something true, without saying who it’s about.

Other (ahem, ahem) comment suggestions that walk the line: respectful, but subversive enough to prompt reflection or signal awareness, without inviting backlash.

The Gentle Mirror

“A beautiful articulation of what leadership should be. I’ve found that some of the most meaningful lessons on leadership come not from what’s said, but from what’s done. Actions speak loudly.”

The Quiet Reframe

“Love the message, especially the bit about leadership not being a performance. In Brussels, we’re having a lot of conversations about how to spot the gap between leadership values and lived experience. Curious what others have seen in practice?”

The “Seen Too Much” Nod

“We’ve all seen leaders who say all the right things on LinkedIn. The true test is always what their team would say, unfiltered. That’s where real leadership shows up.”

The “Leadership Is a Verb” Reminder

“Such a powerful reminder. I’ve found leadership isn’t just what’s posted, it’s how people feel in the rooms you lead. That part often gets missed.”

The Strategic Pivot

“Really resonates, especially the part about ecosystems. Makes me think: what would happen if teams could anonymously describe their work cultures? Would the leadership story still hold?”

The Gracious Redirect

“This is why listening matters. I’ve seen a lot of teams flourish only after leadership really leaned into feedback and discomfort. Humility is underrated.”

The Light Jab (for the bold)

“100% agree, leadership is about chemistry and trust. Curious: how do you measure that in teams you’ve led?”

The Generational Nudge

“Love this. Also seeing a younger generation in Brussels increasingly ask: does this leadership align with how people were treated, not just what’s written? Important convo.”

The “Yes, And…”

“Yes, and the best leaders I’ve seen don’t just align people around meaning, they leave room for people to challenge them safely. Not enough folks talking about that part.”

In closing

LinkedIn posts disappear. Reputations don’t.

If you’ve been on the receiving end of toxic leadership, you're allowed to cringe when the same person starts quoting Simon Sinek.

Just don’t let it twist your truth.

You’re not crazy.

You’re just ahead of the algorithm.