How good people become (accidental) bad bosses

Walk into an organisation, a tech company, an NGO, a communications consultancy, and you’ll find a familiar pattern.

People become bosses (not leaders) because they excelled at something else, not because they were ever taught how to lead.

An outstanding analyst becomes a team lead. A brilliant communicator becomes a head of department. A high-performing researcher becomes a director. A policy expert becomes a manager.

And suddenly, overnight, they are expected to ‘manage humans’, handle conflict, foster psychological safety, coach performance, shape culture, and hold power responsibly.

All without a single hour of formal training.

Think about it: We require certificates and degrees for almost everything.

You can’t fix a boiler without a qualification. You can’t teach without training. You can’t practice medicine or architecture without years of structured training. Even yoga instructors and personal trainers need certification.

But to lead people? To be responsible for someone’s livelihood, wellbeing, confidence, and career progression?

Holding someone's livelihood, wellbeing, confidence, and career progression in your hands is an immense responsibility. For that, we simply assume that technical excellence — the thing that got someone promoted — magically translates into people leadership. It doesn’t.

Leadership is its own profession, with a distinct skillset:

• listening without defensiveness

• managing conflict

• giving feedback that builds, not breaks

• understanding bias and power

• creating healthy team norms

• recognising harm and intervening early

• self-awareness and emotional regulation

These aren’t “soft skills.” They are hard skills — because they determine whether people thrive or burn out.

Most toxic behaviour doesn't come from cartoon villains. They come from people promoted without the tools, support, or awareness required to lead responsibly.

They didn’t wake up wanting to micromanage. They didn’t plan to avoid conflict until it exploded. They didn’t choose to create anxiety or confusion. They were just never taught how to do it.

When people say they’ve had a “toxic boss,” what they often mean is:

• untrained

• unsupported

• overwhelmed

• unaware

• out of their depth

The good news is that we can hold this truth without excusing the harm. We can understand the system without blaming the individual.

Zoom out for a moment.

Europe, and Brussels especially, depends on skilled talent to deliver impact. But people don’t leave bad jobs… they leave bad managers! And organisations quietly haemorrhage competence, creativity, and institutional memory because they treat leadership as an automatic upgrade rather than a trained profession.

In a labour market struggling with burnout, skills shortages, and low trust, we cannot afford unskilled leadership. So what if leadership roles required the same preparation as every other profession? Not a two-day workshop. Not a box-ticking HR course. But a real baseline:

• training in communication and conflict

• understanding bias, behaviour, and power

• psychological safety fundamentals

• how to run a team that people want to stay in

Imagine if leaders were selected not only for what they know, but for how they show up. Imagine if leadership development wasn’t elitist or remedial,  but a normal, expected part of professional growth. Imagine if Brussels became the place where people said:

I feel safe. I feel seen. I can do my best work.

This isn’t about pointing fingers. It’s about naming a systemic design flaw:

We demand excellence from leaders without giving them the tools to be excellent. If we truly care about healthy workplaces, impact, and the next generation of talent, we have to treat leadership as the profession it is. Because the truth is simple:

“Most toxic workplaces aren’t caused by bad people.  They’re caused by untrained people put in positions of power.”

And that’s something we can absolutely fix.

About the author:

If you’re wondering who I am to order Brussels around — fair question. I’m Peter Van Biesen: spouse-in-chief to Shweta, part-time therapist to A Better Brussels, and full-time observer of how this EU-policymaking space actually operates. If anything, I’m writing this as a citizen who wants this city to work better for the humans inside it.